Helenka - The Unlikely Mummy ( @Helenka - The Unlikely Mummy
) has his #lego
What a night! Hubby is on nightshifts & has left me with the house, cooking, cleaning & kids (with no help) 24 hours a day, for the next 7 days. We also have a touch of the flu so as any parent knows, 24 hours in a day combined with the flu & 2 whingy kids & time actually stands still. The earth tilts off it's axis & the planet remains stationary. There's now 36 hours in every day rather than the standard 24 #fact.
I don't get the luxury of sleeping during the day because these kids tag-team like 'world sleep deprivation torture champions' & I'm up to the baby 4-6 times & the toddler twice a night. I must average 5 hours of sleep in 30 minute increments. Look up 'flogged' in the dictionary & you'll find my picture; bags under the eyes, disheveled hair & a look of contempt for anyone sleeping a solid 8 hours smeared across my indignant face.
Anyhoo, I put the baby to bed & commenced hostage negotiations with the toddler to get some shut-eye. After a drink of milk, 56 songs, 134 books & a sacrifice to the gods she suggested I lay down on her bed with her for just a minute. So I did... 4.5hrs later I woke to 'mummy, get out of my bed...' Startled, I get up. Sweet Jesus, what time is it? What day is it?? Where am I?? The dishes are piled high in the sink, the table hasn't been cleared & the TV is still blaring. I reach around & retrieve a lego block embedded solidly in my back fat & think 'what the frig is this?? What happened to my figure? Why does postpartum fat have to settle around my waist & for that matter, my double chin?? (Yep, vanity first) And wait a sec, we don't even own lego!' It was a real 'princess & the pea moment' except when I finally get to sleep, I do it as gracefully as a fat 50 year old random dude who's passed out in your front yard after a solid day of sinking tinnies in the hot sun & gotten lost. Yep, classy is my middle name.
Regardless, I woke up chipper AF this morning. As for that lego, do you think that when the earth spins off its axis it morphs into your home via osmosis?? Jks, maybe I do need more sleep #givemeallthecoffee #lego #princessandthepea #sleepdeprived #motherof2 #cleftcutie#cleftlip #cleftpower #shiftworker #shiftwork